Then, it got a little ‘squirrelly’ along the way. Long story...but it happens. I mean, there are a lot of ‘churches’ out there today (and were back then as well) teaching a whole lot of different things that can muddy the waters for sure. No wonder Paul expressed concerns there in 2 Cor. 11:2-4 about all these ‘other gospels, and Jesuses, and spirits’ that would enter the fray. Jesus Himself told us this would happen in Matt. 24. And if Satan himself can appear as an ‘angel of light’ and his minions as ‘servants of righteousness’, (2 Cor. 11:14-15)...and Jesus talks of all those ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing’ out there (Matt. 7:15), then is it any wonder that things can get so squirrelly? And have you ever stopped to ponder just what that might look like...to ‘follow another Jesus’?
Yet God...seems to be able to find us as we wallow in the darkness.
Nine years later, after a series of life experiences, some time spent in a bible college along with other courses and training....I found myself pastoring a church, of all things...at the ‘still ripe young age’...of 29. After about a year of that experience, I had another life changing encounter with God in a way similar to what I experienced back in early March of 2020 that I have shared with you here previously. Back then, it was something akin to an ‘awakening’ as the word began to open up to me in ways I had never seen before. And can I just tell you here and now that the main focus of what I was learning then...had to do with...the ‘fear of the Lord’.
I was beginning to see passages and chapters and scripture after scripture that I had been blinded to previously. That can happen when men’s doctrines capture our hearts. (Mark 7)
But the more I dove in and studied and began to see so plainly written in those pages, it produced an amazing result in that I found myself on my face repeatedly...in tears...repenting...weeping...and truly remorseful for so much blindness and hardness that had enveloped my heart over the years previously. I guess I had grown ignorant as to how much of a ‘form of godliness’ I had walked in for some time. It’s not that hard to ‘drift into another lane while driving and not even realize it.
Scripture distinguishes the difference between ‘worldly sorrow and godly repentance.’ (2 Cor. 7:10). But here’s the telling statement that I still shake my head in embarrassment to make known...after ten years of ‘being a Christian’ and a full year of ‘pastoring’ a church, ... it was the first time I believe I had truly experienced such a deep sense of repentance and seen the holiness of God and just was emptied of myself. Then, an amazing thing followed that short season...I began to experience a presence of God like I had not known...at least, since those early days of my initial conversion. It’s kind of hard to describe what I mean when I say ‘presence of God’ but if I have to use words, ‘peace and rest’ along with ‘calm and confidence’ fit into the mix.
Peter tells us this would happen when we truly experience repentance. (Acts 3:19,26). And the first thing you encounter is such a heightened awareness to God’s holiness; and you become aware of every little thing that is counter to God’s nature. I used the example yesterday with how we feel the first time somebody drops a french-fry in that brand new car of yours. “GET that thing off the floor now!!!”
This should be the way we view any sin in our hearts when God exposes it. It was as if God was ten years later after my first coming to Him...was trying to ‘woo me back to Him’ and to teach me a few things that had escaped me.
Then things got ‘squirrely’ again. Another long, long story that I will spare you. But it happens. And life rolled on and got terribly busy. In fact, it happens more than we probably want to admit and then we are like that seed that fell among the thorns and the cares and distractions of life come in and choke the word and no fruit ever matures. But that’s not to say we can’t refine the art of walking in a ‘form of godliness’.
And so here I am 32 years later...some 30+ months after my ‘last awakening’....and I’m telling you...we serve a merciful God whose grace never stops searching for us. He found me again and I can assure you ...this time...He has my undivided attention. I feel like Peter at times who was asked by Jesus, ‘Do you love Me, Peter?” Three times that question came. This third ‘encounter’ with the Lord, for me, at least...has been a ‘come to Jesus moment’ like no other. And again, I hear Him asking...’Do you love Me, Tony?” And I can hear the same words He spoke to Peter...’then feed my sheep’. (John 21:17)
There was something else Jesus said we might give attention to if we truly love Him. “IF you love Me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)
Which takes me back to the passage I shared in closing yesterday from Deut. 5- “Oh...that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me, and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and their children forever.” (29)
Someone commented the other day saying that ‘total surrender’ is probably the hardest things we ‘believers’ struggle with. And I would agree. Which got me to thinking...Why? Why do we struggle with totally surrendering our whole heart to God?
And I am convinced it is because we have failed to see the ‘bigger picture’ of our condition and the state we find ourselves in today; not to mention understanding what this ‘fear of God’ is all about. If we did...I have no doubt you find the added incentive that might propel you to moving in the direction of a 100%, whole-heart sell out to God.
Do you remember when Jesus taught when asked about some tragic deaths that people in that day had suffered? You can read there in Luke 13:1-5. They seem to be just natural tragedies, much like what we would hear today in the news. Jesus posed the question: “Do you think these people were any worse sinners than all the others?” He tells them, two times: “No”. Then He adds this: “I tell you that unless you repent you will all likewise perish.” (3,5). Peter would echo this somber warning in Acts 3:22-23 suggesting a similar outcome for those who would ‘not hear Him in all things whatever He says to you.”
Allow me to use a graphic illustration to explain...by nature, we humans are not always quick to respond and prepare until we see drastic evidence of impending danger. Think in terms of violent weather like tornadoes or hurricanes. Odd, is it not, how just a day before such an event occurs, everything can be so calm and peaceful. Then...’sudden destruction’. (1 Thess. 5:3)
The other morning, for some reason I was reminded of that fateful day of 9.11 when the towers were burning up. So many people died that day in such a horrendous manner. I don’t know about you, but one of the more troublesome ‘happenings’ I read and heard about had to do with the ‘jumpers’. You probably know what I am talking about. These were the folks in the higher part of the towers, above the spreading flames...that began to see their fate and there was no escaping death. Many of them, opened or broke out windows...and leapt...to certain death rather than to suffer the unbearable, flaming heat of the fire that was sure to consume them. There are many photos and images online these days of people falling. One particular is of a man who had such a distinct posture to him as he falls to the ground below. I debated using that image here today.
But what struck me was this: He, and others, knew...they faced impending death. These ‘jumpers’ though...chose for themselves...how they were going to ‘die’.
Jesus...offers us a similar option. IF we don’t repent, we are going to perish. If we turn and follow Him, He is going to lead us...to ‘die’. We just get to choose the manner in which we ‘die’.
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.” – Jesus. (Luke 9:24)
Unlike the jumpers on 9.11 who leapt to their certain physical death, Jesus offers us another form of ‘dying’ to which I have spoken of frequently here. But it is a ‘leap of faith’ like no other. The only way you can ‘save’ or...find true ‘life’, is to come to Him with all your heart. (John 5:40). And in turn, He will lead you to ‘die’ to everything that is not of Him.
Oh, you probably also know that many people that tragic day were lead out from the fiery flames enveloping those buildings. Rescue workers reached many in time...to calm their fears and instruct them to ‘follow them’ as they led them down smoky stairways to ...safety. But in order for them to see the light of another day and rejoin their loved ones...They. Had. To. Follow. (Heb. 5:9)
We too...get to choose...how we will...'die'.
I choose to follow the One...who demonstrates how we can 'overcome death and the grave'.
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