“...and when you have returned to Me, Peter...strengthen your brethren...” -Jesus (Luke 22:32)

I mentioned yesterday how hard it is for me to read this exchange that Jesus had with Peter, and not be moved to tears by it. It really hits close to home, for me, personally; and I would imagine it does so for others...who have ‘been there’ themselves.

In case you are not familiar with this interaction between the two, it took place shortly before Jesus was arrested. Peter had been feeling pretty confident and determined to not let anything happen to Jesus, and that he was ready to ‘lay down his life’ for Him if need be. Peter was, after all...(in his own eyes at least), Jesus’s ‘right hand man’, sword at his side and ready to go that extra mile. Ever been there?

This is when Jesus informs Peter that He had received a request from ‘Satan’, asking to ‘sift Peter as wheat’ (31). That revealed dialogue in itself is interesting for several reasons that we won’t spend much time on today, other than to remind us all that Satan does NOTHING without God’s permission. He is not some rabid dog on the loose doing whatever he pleases. And this is not the first time we are ever privileged to listen in on a conversation between God and the ‘devil’ either. Remember the story of Job 1-2? You might also want to mark down 1 John 5:18.

Please notice that Jesus does not tell Peter ‘not to worry’...because Jesus ‘rebuked the devil, telling him to go away’ or something like that. He just tells Peter: “I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail...”

The fact that Jesus would even imply that Peter would be at some point, ‘returning’ to Him...clearly suggest that there is a ‘departing’ or ‘falling away’ that is about to occur? And the whole world would soon learn how Peter would indeed have his most epic ‘fail’ when he denied knowing Jesus three times in a row when the pressure was on. In fact, later in the chapter we read of his first denial as he was now ‘following Jesus at a distance’ (54), and the next thing we learn is someone had kindled a fired and Peter had joined the group to warm himself (55-56).

There is something about being near the ‘fire’ that has a way of bringing impurities out of our hearts; would you not agree? And if we don’t know they are in there, how can we ever confront them and allow the Holy Spirit to purify our hearts, which is what He comes to do in all of us (1 John 3:3). Hence...the advice James offers us in Jame 1:2-4.

Back in the early 2000’s, I was going through my own ‘dark night of the soul’. I had been pastoring a church for nearly 17 years, teaching full time at school, struggling to just ‘get through life’ with raising three kids and paying the bills and all...and I just ‘lost my way’. Depression was starting to set in and I really did not know what to do and how to find my way out. But I just kept ‘pressing through’ trying to put on a brave face and ‘figure it out’.

Many of us are proficient at that, you know? Making the ‘outside’ look good and strong and happy for others...while we are dying inside. We can ‘say all the right things’ and ‘honor God with our lips’...but we are not hiding anything from Him; He’s God...and He sees all and know all (Matt. 15:8). And He continues to wait...for us to ‘return to Him’; sort of like what the Father did for his prodigal son. Remember that story (Luke 15:11-32)? The younger son had been on his own journey, thinking he knew what was best for his life, and it eventually caught up with him before he had his own ‘coming to himself’ moment and seeing things a bit differently (17).

It was then that he confronted his own sin and falling away and was broken and repentant, while resolved to ‘return to his father’, whom we are told ‘saw him from afar’ (20). I love that. While he was still a long way off...the father saw him.

Friends...regardless of where you are at today...He sees you, He hears you...and He has also prayed for you, making intercession for you (Rom. 8:34; Heb. 7:25), as He awaits your return. And I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t have to be feeding with the pigs on the backside of nowhere...to be ‘apart from God’. You can be sitting on the front pew in your church weekly...and still not be ‘with Him’ or...’abiding in Him’. Can I also say that you are not fooling God? Just know, it is not His will or desire for ‘any to perish, but for all to come to repentance’ (2 Pet. 3:9).

For those who may not even know what the inside of a ‘church’ even looks like, or maybe have forgotten because it’s been so long...He sees you too.

I finally hit a place where something had to give; and it was a quote I came across somewhere that said: “If you don’t change the direction you are heading in, you will get there.” I knew...I did not like the direction I was headed in at that time and was terrified. It was then I made the painful and conflicted decision to step aside from the pulpit and just try to ‘get it together’ again. And gosh...did I ever feel like a failure as I retreated to the backside of just ‘existing’, sort of like what Moses did when he retreated and fled to Midian (Ex. 2:11-15). Some 40 years would go by before Moses had his ‘burning bush moment’ (Ex. 3) before his ‘number was called by God’. That is what happened to me back in early March of 2020. I had my ‘burning bush’ experience, or as I also refer to it, my ‘Lazarus Moment’ when Jesus called me out of my dark tomb of stench (John 11:38-44). You can only go so long on ‘life-support-autopilot’ before you realize that anywhere outside of abiding in Jesus...will never sustain you. (John 15:1-8)

But it is that example we see in the story of the prodigal son...when he returns broken and repentant, to the father...that we come to know the heart of God who sees us from afar and is ready to run and not only meet us where we are at, but also wanting to embrace us and welcome us home. And after He ‘dresses us’ (Luke 15:22; John 21:18)...it is then that there will be others who need to hear the ‘good news’, that it might ‘strengthen the brethren’ as well. But you have to ‘return to Him’ first.

If you have ever wondered how...or why...I’ve been able to churn out these daily postings for the past four years...well...now you know. And to be honest, ‘churning’ is not the best word. Honestly...they have been effortless, because my life has been forever changed; sort of like how Peter’s was when he returned, and then was empowered by the Holy Spirit.

One thing I have come to learn over the years in my own personal journey is this - You can’t give to others what you don’t possess yourself already. “Such as I have do I give to you...in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth...rise up and walk!” - Peter  (Acts 3:6-7)