I’ve shared the story before how I was standing in the grocery store one day while shopping with my wife and I found myself staring at a beer display in the aisle. What piqued my curiosity that evolved into a half-hearted prayer of inquiry to the Lord was...what is it about alcohol, like beer and wine, that can be such a stumbling block, or snare, for so many people? I personally could drink one glass of wine or one beer and it have little, if any effect on me. But someone else...would have a hard time finding the ‘brakes’ and would keep on drinking until they were inebriated.

Trying to wrap my head around that dilemma for understanding, I looked up and saw a display of Oreos. That’s when the lightbulb went on...and I was like “Oh...OK, I get it”, and I had my answer. We all tend to have our own personal ‘vices’ and areas of weakness. And it’s kind of sad, really, how ‘Christians’ can look down and shame those who struggle with alcohol or drug additions...while excusing their own ‘food addictions’. Both are evident of a lack of one of the fruits of the Spirit known as ‘self-control’. But as we will learn, there is also more to it than simple ‘self-control’. I only share this as we continue on with my post from yesterday as we are comparing sexual ‘desire’ with sexual ‘lust’. If you missed it, I strongly recommend you read it first.

There are several words used in Greek that are translations in our Bibles for the word ‘lusts’, but they all convey a similar meaning: a strong, inordinate desire for something, cravings, coveting, to set one’s heart upon. We read in multiple places that speaks about the ‘lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes’, and how it depicts all that is in the ‘world...and not of the Father’. (1 John 2:15-16 ). It is through these carnal lusts that was how the ‘prince of the air (demonic forces) governed and controlled us when we were dead in sin’ (Eph. 2:1-3) And James explains how the tempter tries to lure us back into sin and darkness (James 1:14-15). No wonder we are admonished repeatedly to ‘resist the devil’ and not to ignore him. (1 Pet. 5:8-9; James 4:7)

This next statement might rattle a few folks, but I’m going to say it anyway: God never intended for your spouse to be an ‘outlet’ or ‘release’ for you to fulfill sexual ‘lust’. I remember many years ago, Pope John Paul drew much ire from people within his own church for making a similar statement. And remember, there is a difference between ‘desire’ and ‘lust’.

Lust (which scripture will suggest can be a ‘spirit’) is never satisfied; it will always want more. And knowing this should help you understand how to discern the difference so that you can ‘stay in your lane’ of abiding in Jesus as you ‘give no place to the enemy’. This is probably why Paul offered up some practical advice to married couples in 1 Cor. 7:1-5. He is basically teaching here that after a man and woman have ‘come together’ for times of intimacy, that it would be good to regroup and focus on ‘prayer and fasting’ so that...one will not be ‘tempted by Satan’ for ‘lack of control’ (5) (Why would he bring ‘Satan’ into this?)

I suppose you could make the case that where both human appetites are involved, like eating and sexual desires/needs, that ‘self-control’ is needed as it is a vital fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:23). That might also be a reason Jesus said ‘when you fast’ (not if), there are benefits of keeping our earthly body in subjection. (Matt.6:16-17)

Now I’m not here to make a list of what is ‘acceptable or unacceptable’ for married couples to practice in the ‘marriage bed’ (Heb. 13:4) other than remind us all, that if not careful, we can ‘drift’ (Heb. 2:1) into other ‘lanes’ that are clearly not acceptable to God. What happens so often today is a spirit of sexual lust may be prevalent in a marriage, and yes, even among ‘professing believers’. Now remember, sexual ‘lust’ is never satisfied. So couples who are unknowingly trying to fulfill what they think is ‘sexual desire’ hit these places of ‘sexual boredom’ in their marriage, feeling a ‘need’ or ‘desire’ for something ’more’ in order to ‘spice things up’. .. this is where the enemy is standing by the door (Gen. 4:7) ready to offer up ‘creative ideas’. This is how the ‘idea’ of bringing in other people in to the bedroom, or ‘wife -swapping’ comes in to play. Pornography can also be a convenient ‘outlet’ for others to introduce to the relationship in order to ‘enhance things’ which then can bring in a very unhealthy mix of other factors.

So while we do indeed have physical and biological ‘needs’ as part of God’s design in our human bodies, we also were born into a world that is/was corrupt and under the influence of the ‘wicked one’. (1 John 5:19; Rev. 12:9). And this is where you will really want to sit up and take notes, more so for your own understanding... for the time being.

Join me tomorrow for Part lll?