I mentioned at the close of my post yesterday that it (the post) was my 1000th post since I started writing, or blogging, about the things I was gleaning from God’s word these past four years since I had my personal ‘spiritual awakening’ back in March of 2020. Hence, the Roman numeral ‘M’ added to the image of a ‘scribe’ today. ;-).

I only mention this in hindsight because nobody knows better than I, how incapable I am to have maintained such a task of waking up early every morning the past several years and writing, at length, with much scripture included, all that I have shared here. And if you would indulge me, I would like to use today’s post to pause, and reflect on what a journey this has been.

I have said all along, I have nothing to prove to anyone, nor am I ‘seeking a pulpit’. Yes I pastored a church for 17 years and have shared with you that I 'hit a wall’, and felt like I ‘crashed and burned’ back then. I ended up in a dark place, lost my way, having lost sense of the direction I was going in, when it comes to pastoring a flock, not to mention my own personal walk. I can recall countless times after preaching ‘another sermon’, being the last one to turn out the lights and lock the doors of the church on those Sunday afternoons...going home tormented and discouraged asking myself the same question over and over...”What are we doing here?” It was like a merry-go-round that I did not know how to stop and get off of. Perhaps others might relate, I don’t know; all I do know is what happened to me.

I remember coming across a quote leading up to my departure from the pulpit ministry that said: “If you don’t change the direction you are headed in, you will get there.”

I did not like the direction I was headed, nor the place I was in, so I changed direction and got out. You can only imagine the sense of darkness, despair, and defeat one might feel when they are convinced they have...’failed God’. And yet, life rocked on.

We started attending another church, a place to show up weekly because...everyone knows we ‘need to be in church somewhere’, right? But I was spiritually bankrupt, spent, and empty. My spiritual life for the next 15 years could be described, at best...as a cross of being on ‘life support’ and ‘auto-pilot’.

Getting out of the ministry was a good thing for me back then. I needed to be out. And while I found a sense of gradual healing in my soul/mind over the next decade and a half, as my photography began to flourish and I continued teaching (public school), I knew deep inside that this was not what life was about, that there was more, and it was spiritual in nature and had to do with God’s kingdom. But I just could not seem to find that ‘door’ to get out of this place of spiritual death I was in.

Then...'The Door' found me. (John 10:7). Or to put it another way, it was: ‘Lazarus (Tony), come forth out of that stinking tomb of darkness!’ – 2.0

It’s an interesting place to find yourself back at ‘Square One’, in terms of your Christian faith and what you ‘thought you knew’; but this time being there with Jesus as He broke me, and cleansed me, healed me, and then began to teach me. It made all the difference in the world; my world, at least. Then the world we lived in hit a ‘speed bump’ immediately following those early days of my ‘awakening’ as the pandemic swept across the world and changed the way we lived in multiple ways. Throw in to the mix early on... a presidential election that did not go the way many thought it should have gone, which led up to unprecedented events of the likes our country had not seen before. We became a nation divided and polarized in more ways that I can remember. I don’t know that we have recovered from that yet.

But through all that, I found myself in a place, a good place, unlike anything I have ever experienced before. My hand was ‘set to the plow’, and my ‘mind was set on things above, not on the earth’. (Col. 3:2). I found there to be an ‘untangling from the affairs of this life’, (2 Tim. 2:4) as each day began long before sunrise where I would spend hours buried in His word.

There was the freedom, the peace, and the joy that began to flood my soul as I bathed in His truths, .and then... by His grace, I began to walk them out...which has forever changed my life and the trajectory I was on. So what was to follow? What was I to do with all this? That remained a mystery to me; yet we all know that when God does something marvelous in your life, it is hard to keep it to yourself. (Acts 4:20)

The ‘blogging’ began over 2 ½ years ago. It certainly was not on my radar of things to do. It actually followed in response to a conversation I was having online with someone regarding a passage in John 8:32-36 where Jesus talked about us ‘knowing truth’ and how the truth would ‘set us free’. And in that passage of text, He made the statement, ‘most assuredly’...that ‘whoever commits sin is a slave to sin’. (34). I merely posed the question that if we believers continue to sin on a regular basis, then what did Jesus actually ‘set us free from’? That was not well received. So I found myself diving further in to His word and that is when the scriptures opened up even more. God does that, you know...He ‘opens up the scriptures’ and our ‘understanding to them’. (Luke 24:32,45). I know...sounds so mystical and mysterious, until you realize that is exactly what happens when we turn to Him with all our hearts. He begins to ‘reveal the mysteries of the kingdom to His ‘babes’. (Matt. 13:11; Luke 10:21). And before you roll your eyes on that one, at least look those verses up and give them some consideration.

It would be challenging to sum up today, what all I have written about here in these thousand posts, which can easily be accessed on my Blogspot platform where they are archived (see link in first comment below). But in a ‘nutshell’, this is the area where my studies have centered on. So many missing pieces to the puzzle turned up for me, answering so many questions I had for so long. I hope you are aware it can be hard to ‘unlearn things’ when they need to be unlearned. That was a 'thing' back in Jesus' day as well. (Mark 7:6-9,13)

I stated last week that one of the most painful choices you will ever make in this life is having to ‘choose truth’...over what you ‘thought to be truth’. The roots of pride and tradition can run deep, indeed.

My writings have included many analogies and word pictures and illustrations; it is the way I write. But you would have to agree, there has been plenty of scripture included in which I have implored the readers to look up and examine for yourself. (Acts 17:11). One such analogy included a scenario where new home owner discovers their newly built ‘dream home’ was constructed without any rebar, or steel reinforcements in the concrete slab in order to save money. That would be no small factor. I likened that explaining how there have been some basic biblical truths that have been set aside in many of our basic church teachings. Foundation matters. And every man’s foundation will be tested and tried by both ‘flood and fire’. (Matt. 7:24-27; 1 Cor. 3:11-14)

So what have been the particular areas of study that I would make the case we need to go back and re-examine on our own? Let me summarize for you-

1) Jesus came to set us free from sin that we might truly go and ‘sin no more’. And contrary to popular belief, sin still incurs wrath and consequences. (John 5:14; Eph. 5:6; 1 Cor. 11:30-32)

2) The ‘Law’ has been lost, forgotten, and/or dismissed as being for the most part, irrelevant to NT believers today. Nothing could be further from the truth. The law was never done away with which means the penalties, the curses, the wrath still exists today as well. The only ones who need not be concerned with being ‘under the law’ are those who are ‘led by the Spirit of God’. (Matt. 5:17; Gal. 5:18; Rom. 8:4,14; 2:13). Ignorance has led to the pain and destruction of many. (Hosea 4:6)

3) While we are all aware of this ‘old man’, this ‘body of sin’, this ‘human-flesh nature’ that has been the source of much conflict in our lives, it was never a part of God’s plan for 'him' to stick around for the remainder of this walk of faith we embarked upon. IF...we are following Jesus, this ‘old man’ will be crucified and put to death. This was not an option nor is it poetic language. (Rom. 8:13; Gal. 5:24)

4) The reason we are instructed to ‘give place to wrath (God’s)’ when we are wronged, is because God has set in place the ‘instruments of His indignation’ to carry out His wrath. It is the powers of darkness whom God uses, just as God used the enemies of His people back in the OT times to do this. This is what Paul is referring to when he writes “the wrath of God is being revealed (today)...against all ungodliness and unrighteousness.” (Rom. 1:18; 1 Tim.1:8-11; Ps. 78:49-50)). This is why Paul admonished us to ‘give no place to the devil’. (Eph. 4:27). Sin...gives place to the devil. And sin...is the ‘breaking of God’s laws. (1 John 3:4)

5) Abiding in Jesus is not an option. And simply professing to ‘believe in Jesus’ or ‘attending church regularly’ does not equate with ‘abiding in Him’. (John 15:1-8). IF...we are abiding in Him, there will be much fruit, fruit that remains, and we will no longer continue to walk in sin. (1 John 3:6,9). My focus in all these writings have centered more around what it means to ‘abide in Him, as opposed to ‘are you saved or not’. Yes, fruit still matters. (Matt. 3:10; 717-20; Luke 13:6-9)

The majority of these messages have been directed to those who would claim to be ‘believers’. I have stated repeatedly that I have nothing to prove to anyone, but undoubtedly my spirit and heart have been compelled to ‘blow the trumpet in Zion and to sound a holy alarm’. (Joel 2:1). I am no ‘self-appointed prophet’, rather just a 60+ year old man who Jesus picked up out of the miry clay of religious tradition and breathed in to me once again...the breath of life.  I am changed and will never be the same again.

Is what I have written here the past few years everyone’s ‘cup of tea’? I hardly think so, which is why I implore anyone and everyone who reads here, please look up the verses yourself and study them. (Acts 17:11). Recently, someone reached out to me via private message hoping to correct me from the error of my ways/writings. They first suggested I was a misguided ‘Pharisee’ teaching (in error) we are made holy by obeying the law. It then escalated quickly when I was told I was a ‘modern day gnostic enslaved by my own reason’, with a final ‘farewell’ because I was “expressing the thoughts and words of the antichrist.”  (I did not take it personally, I promise. :-) )

Please know that I stand not only in His grace, but behind every word I have shared here with you. I am in no way above being corrected either, and am always open to questions and discussions.

I certainly did not set out to write one thousand posts/lessons/messages, but here we are. Not sure if there is any significance to the number 1000 but I do sense a change of direction coming.  I realize the length of these have always been an issues for many; and yet God prompted me early on to stop apologizing for their length.  After today, I may step back while I continue my own personal studies.  Perhaps there will be some abbreviated or shorter 'nuggets' tha I may share.  We shall see.  We live in interesting and yet troublesome times.  There much darknesss today. There was much darkness when the ten virgins were awakened from their slumber in Matt. 25.  I pray that you will find your supply of oil, trim your lamps, and then 'walk in the light as He is in the light'... as if your soul depended on it. (1 John 1:7)

Blessings ....