I simply share that with you here as several have inquired hoping to hear back from me that the kids and grandkids all finally arrived, and the hope for those asking is to hear we are basking in all the delayed joy and love we have been looking forward to doing now for a long time.
You probably have heard in the news that while all the airlines have struggled this past week, one in particular is having an end-of-the-year meltdown of a nightmare. One, you can rightly conclude now, is a nightmare that has included my family.
But this post is not about my disappointment or seeking comforting words to make me feel better, nor is it to vent whatever frustrations or anger I may have over this week not going the way I had planned and hoped for. This simply has been another lesson in the mandatory class of ‘Life 101’ that we all take. I never did like this class nor did I ever do that great in this class in the past, it seems; so I had to get a tutor. His name is Jesus and He’s made quite the difference for me. If you have struggled in this same subject, holler at me, I’ll get His number to you as He is quite good at this. ;- )
Please let me also say up front here that I was a little reluctant to even bring this up here today because I am so fully aware...that so many of you who may read here...have dealt with such unfathomable hurt and loss and disappointment in your own life that I cannot personally even wrap my head around. Yet, I think we all realize that trying to ‘compare’ our hurts and disappointments with others’ is such an exercise in futility and one in which we are told is a very unwise thing to do. (2 Cor. 10:12; Gal. 6:4-5)
So to briefly bring you up-to date...Our youngest in Seattle never did make it. The grandsons in CA and parents were able to rebook another flight and as I shared in my previous post, were due in late last night. Yesterday morning, just prior to noon, we got word that flight was cancelled as well. Another ‘sucker punch’ to the heart for sure. All I will say in trying to explain the hurt in this-is when you are a relatively new, first-time grandparent and you don’t live very close to them, there is probably a greater build-up of anticipation in seeing them and getting to spend limited time with them than for most who may live across the street or within a few minutes’ drive of their grandkids.
So when the news came in again...of another cancelation, I just had to get in my car and go for a long drive in the country with the window down so I could take in some cold, fresh air while listening to some worship music. I did not beat the steering wheel with my fist or shed tears or yell and scream. Nor did I ask God: “Why me/us?” It was not a drive of wallowing in self-pity either. Sure...I thought of others I’ve mentioned the other day who had worse circumstances they were facing but I was also reminded I need not to deflect my own struggle either. That can be ‘another ditch’ people can end up in and to their own detriment as well.
What I did find myself whispering throughout the ride was this...”My heart Lord...My heart. It’s hurting and I know I can trust you and I am not to lean in my own understanding...but my heart is hurting. Please...search it...examine it...and bring to the surface anything that is hid from my eyes but not yours...and create in me a clean and pure heart.” (Those are familiar verses found written in the bible as well.)
For the rest of the day and evening....I could not shake this thought...how it always...goes back...to the heart. Always.
The ‘heart of the issue’ (as we like to say)...is...the heart. It is the source of our problems and struggles, it is the thing that betrays us (Jer. 17:9)...and it is what God looks at and is most interested in -(compared to how we always are looking at the outward-1 Sam. 16:7)
Jesus told His disciples (and us as well) that if we are ‘in Him’, we may have peace. In this world, we will have tribulation, but to be of good cheer as He has overcome the world”. (John 16:33)
My default setting I always wanted to revert to was “But why...why do we have to have ‘tribulation’? (i.e. – afflictions, distress, persecution)
We read in Acts 14 where Paul and Silas were visiting believers to strengthen and encourage them to ‘continue in the faith’, reminding them that ‘we must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God’. (22). So much I want to address in that one statement regarding ‘continuing in the faith’, but will get to it later on. You might go look at Col. 1:21-23 real quick though and circle that two letter word in vs. 23. (hint- the second letter is ‘f’)
Sometimes, we just need to be reminded that there really is more to this ‘walk of faith’ than just finding shallow security in the idea one ‘said a prayer and accepted Christ as savior’ and that someday we’ll all end up in heaven because we said that prayer’.
God is going to test our hearts. Period. The prophet Jeremiah reminds us that the human heart is ‘deceitful above all things...and desperately wicked”. (17:9). He ends that statement with a question of “Who can know it?”
How convenient...that God answers that question in the very next sentence: “I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind...” (10)
And it’s not like God doesn’t already know what is in our hearts. Part of this whole process of being refined is so WE...can truly see what’s in there...then...deal with it accordingly in a manner that is pleasing to God.
Allow me to break it down this way: When God shows you something in your heart that He calls ‘evil or wicked’...He expects us to agree with Him and confess it and then repent of, or turn from it. To hold on and balk at turning from that which He has pointed out would suggest you are not ready to let go of it which communicates to Him that you are more attached to it, even loving it...more than you love Him. How else should God interpret that since Jesus said ‘IF...we love Him, you’ll do what He says.” (John 13:15) Or ...”Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say?” (Luke 6:46)
Remember the rich, young ruler? Jesus told him he only ‘lacked one thing from being perfect’. But we then read where he wanted to hold on to that ‘one thing’ and was unwilling to part with it, so he sadly turned...and walked away. He came forward and kneeled before Jesus. He just did not get ‘saved’ that day.
Hey...here’s a tip at no extra charge....Don’t pray and ask God like the psalmist did to ‘search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my anxieties and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way of everlasting” (139:23-24) IF...you are not willing to follow up with implementing the remedy.
The remedy is...repentance.
I
f you injure yourself and the physical therapist gives you a detailed plan of therapy to begin immediately...and you don’t follow up and do it...guess what? You won’t see any healing or improvement.
Jesus, the Great Physician, came preaching for all men to ‘repent, for the kingdom of heaven was at hand’. (Matt. 4:17). He would later explain that when folks heard some news of some tragic deaths in the vicinity, that these people were not ‘any worse sinners than others’...and...that unless we would ‘repent, we would all likewise perish’. (Luke 13:1-5)
I think we all get the idea that Jesus came to ‘save us’. Where our understanding gets fuzzy oftentimes, is realizing what exactly what...He came to save us from...and How...He ‘saves’ us.
Hebrews 5:9 states the Jesus ‘became the author of eternal salivation to all who OBEY Him. We look at that concept so often like a deer looks into approaching car headlights. So many think because they ‘prayed a prayer and joined a church’ that all is fine and dandy with their soul. IF...that is all one needed to do...what is the rest of this book for? How does this idea of ‘obedience’ and being ‘led by the Spirit’ and ‘doing the will of God’ even factor in?
He came to perfect us in His love which meant doing a work on our defective hearts. Know anyone who ever received a heart transplant? Pretty tough operation to go through if you are not willing to stay on the table and allow the doctors to perform the complicated surgery.
James writes that we should ‘count it all joy when we encounter various trials/tests, knowing that the testing of our faith produces patience and that it will have its perfect work so that we may be ...perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” (1:2-4)
How else...will we know what is in our hearts unless we allow the Holy Spirit to reveal it to us?
I have much more to say regarding all this and will pick up here tomorrow.
In the meantime...we are anticipating another...delayed reunion. The kids were able to book another flight on another airline and due in later today. We will see. I can assure you one verse I am definitely putting in to practice today...it’s Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart...”
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