So...are you?

Many people are quick to confess that they are indeed ...’people pleasers’. And if you are one of those who do readily admit that you find yourself always wanting to ‘please others’, have you ever stopped to ask yourself why that is the case?

Also...do you know the difference between ‘pleasing’ someone...and ‘appeasing’ them? That might be a better place to start before we go any further in this study today.

Appeasing someone is not about wanting to bring pleasure to a person, but more about ‘pacifying’ them in order to bring some negative behavior to a standstill, as in getting someone off our back, be it even for a brief moment or two. Think in terms of a whiney child or baby and how you might cave and give in to their wants in order to simply quiet them down. Appeasing someone can also be about giving in to their demands so you can avoid conflict or anger.

When we hear the loosely used expression about ‘appeasing the gods’, it can be a tongue and cheek phrase we mutter in hopes that we might have favorable weather and/or circumstances for some upcoming event we are planning for. In a more literal sense, how many people go through life trying to ‘appease God’ in order to ‘avoid hell’ or maybe make a vain attempt to ‘win favor’ with their ‘god’? Ever heard about or studied past cultures and societies that would offer up human or child sacrifices in order to appease any variety of ‘gods’?

So there is a distinct difference between the two, but we want to move in the direction of this idea of ‘pleasing’ (vs. appeasing), which basically means to bring pleasure or satisfaction to someone, in order to make them ‘happy’.

Interestingly, this lesson today was inspired by a simple reading of an exhortation made by Paul who wrote that as ‘children of the light, we out to find out what is ‘pleasing’ to the Lord; and then do it (Eph. 5:8-10). In another place, Paul shares how it is ‘our ambition to be pleasing to Him’ (2 Cor. 5:9). Which then leads me to summarize that we will go through this life seeking to please one of three recipients - Other people, Ourselves, or God.

And have we not all come to the resounding conclusion at some point early in our lives that you ‘can’t please everyone’...all the time? So then you come to that proverbial ‘fork in the road’ where you resolve to just please one or the other, and guess who that choice usually is? Yep...ourself. “I can’t seem to make anyone else happy so I’m just gonna do what pleases me, and be done with it!’. Ever heard or muttered that phrase before?

But here is the truth of the matter - pleasing others was never about trying to bring genuine happiness to someone, per say, because if/when we were successful in doing so, we were then rewarded in return with their approval, or with favor, or at best...’good feelings’ about ourselves because of what we did for them. Does that makes sense?

Let me use myself as an example here to illustrate what I’m getting at. As many of you know, I spent years taking pictures of local sporting events and activities back in Lamar County. I truly enjoyed my photography which grew from a hobby to a full time profession. As I pursued my pleasure more, I soon discovered that it was bringing great pleasure to others as well. Taking the time to attend games and events, to photograph all the kids doing their thing and then the countless hours I spent at a computer editing images and then posting them ...free for people to download...became my way of life for many years.

I found great personal satisfaction, purpose, and fulfillment knowing that what I was doing was pleasing others; and people were always kind and gracious about expressing kind words of gratitude for what I did...for as long as I continued doing so. But I have a hunch that had people stopped expressing their appreciation for all that I did...I have to wonder how long I would have continued doing what I did, or at least to the extent that I did.

You can ask my wife the number of times I insisted on needing to attend some game or event because ‘people were counting on me to be there’. If for any reason, all that positive feedback had come to a screeching halt, and there were no more ‘likes’ on my Facebook page or kind words and praise being given...then if I’m being completely honest with myself (and you)...I probably would have cut back on all those countless hours... because I gradually found myself in a place where I liked the way I felt ...when I pleased others. In other words, if we are not careful, over time pleasing others can be self-serving and selfish since we are ‘doing for others because we like how it makes us feel’. Oddly, as I type this out, I find myself being a bit painfully vulnerable and transparent with you.

So at the end of the day...we realize that we are either going to live our lives to please ourself...or we can choose to live a life where pleasing God becomes our chief purpose, goal...or ambition. And when we seek to please God first and foremost, above ourselves, it takes on a whole new meaning and purpose...with different results. That is because pleasing God is rooted in His love, and His love is not selfish or self-seeking or self-serving. We want to please Him because of His unfathomable love that He demonstrates towards us. And you can’t experience this unless you are truly... abiding in Him.

IF...a person is truly abiding in Jesus, or professes to be abiding in Him, we are told that we then ‘ought to also walk just as He (Jesus) walked.” (1 John 2:6) And just how did He walk? Well...take a look at what Jesus declared in John 8:29: “I always do those things that please Him (the Father)”.

And what did Jesus say you and I would be doing IF...we truly loved Him?

“If you love Me, keep My commandments.” (John 14:15). Why call Him ‘Lord, Lord’ if we are not going to do what He asks of us? (Luke 6:46). So what does it mean to live a life that is ‘pleasing to God’? Join me tomorrow and we’ll take a look.